today my mom’s friend Lynn was telling us how she was taking violin lesson and i was like can we start calling u VIOLYNNY. and i died because holy shit i am way too punny

orna-mental:

omg

(Source: theresaz)

OMG TOMS!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG AHBAJDZNBJHNMDBN<MHZJLK

(Source: kimpotence)

buttsbutts:

Get it because it’s a CELL WALL

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH OMG

(Source: byebyedaruma)

hamburgerjack:

deliciouskaek:

strangeasanjles:

magical-truthsaying-bastard:

sakunora:

cat-ears:

ragingbitchfest:

lecieletlesetoiles:

Hahaha I laughed for five minutes.

And all the biology nerds come out of the woodwork.

AHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

holy shit I understand this

Lost the ability to can.

FANTASTIC

Nothing says nerd alert more… XD

OMG YESSSSS

(Source: engineering-laughter)

GUYS…it’s a … marIGUANA HAHAHAHAAH omg i’m so funny 

(Source: greensidee)

me: i hoard pears from my dining hall
friend: the more the perrier
me: AWWWHHH SO WITTY
friend: I know, I'm unpearable
me: DYING. I CAN PEAR - LY handle this
friend: please tell me you arent dying, I don't want to go to your funeral. I hate somber a-pears

witheart:

Pair pericardium!

HAHAH LOLOL 

(Source: nevver)

my uncle: let me know if the tickets don't arrive tomorrow
me: I will keep you POSTED
GUYS WHY AM I SO PUNNY

molly: my friend's clinical is on the post operative floor. I asked her what kind of post op. she goes ...'gastrointestinal'
that's so SHITTY right?
hopefully no one's an ASSHOLE
me: -dies

large amounts of metal have been detected

(Source: i-love-the-smell-of-napalm)

(Source: iraffiruse)